Why do people keep telling me everything that I should know even if it’s not their life? I’m tired of people telling me what happened during this blank part of my memory. I’m tired of listening to their version and yet my memory can’t confirm it. I feel so lost in a place I know like the back of my hand.
I just got into a huge fight with Richard. Now he’s telling me that he’s the man in ny dreams. I want to scream! I don’t know who’s telling the truth or they are just both telling lies. I’m starting to hate them both but I am now hating myself more. I hate myself because I’m starting to lose important people in my life because I couldn’t simply remember anything two years ago.
I got up in my room and lied on my bed. If I could only have the power to travel through time and watch myself from the past, it would be a lot easier. Or a remote control just like Adam Sandler has on his movie ‘Click.’ I’ve suffered for too long and I don’t want to again.
My phone rang and it was Kute. I answered it and was welcomed by her worried voice.
“Hello, bunso? Nasa bahay ka ba? Pasensya na, linggong linggo nagtatrabaho ako.” She said.
I sniffed first. “Ayos lang, Kute. Kung gusto mo pumunta ko dyan para tumulong. Wala naman akong ginagawa sa bahay eh.” I suggested and also it would keep my mind off of things.
“Ayos lang ba? Sige. Ipapakaon pa ba kita kay Kiko o magko-commute ka na?” She asked.
I sniffed again. Damn this crying. “Wag na, magko-commute na lang ako, Kute.” I said.
“Sige, sige. Ah, bunso, padala naman ng camera mo. May bago kasing dish dito. Ipapalagay ko sa menu. Kuhanan mo ng litrato.”
“Sige Kute.” I shortly replied.
“Maya, umiiyak ka ba? Kanina ka pa singhot nang singhot eh.” She said and I immediately rubbed my nose with a tissue.
“Ano, wala ‘to Kute. Gawa ata nung aircon sa kwarto ko. Bukas kasi magdamag, nanibago ata ako.” I lied.
Kute got silent on the other line before she spoke. “Bunso ha. Bawal maglihim. Magkita na lang tayo mamaya at rush hour ngayon kasi lunch hours pa. Mag-ingat ka ha.”
“Salamat Kute. Bye.” I said ang disconnected the call. I took a deep breath and changed my clothes. When I grabbed my phone, it was ringing. Simon’s name flashed on my phone. I waited until the call disconnected and blocked his number, including Richard’s. I want to be alone for now. I don’t want to think about everything that had happened earlier.
I got at Pocholo’s around half after two in the afternoon. The place is still packed, filled with happiness and enjoyment on its atmosphere. I made my way inside the kitchen when someone stopped me.
“Ma’am, bawal po sa loob ang hindi personnel. “A woman stopped me. Her face is not familiar and I knew right away that she’s new here.
“Personnel ako dito, kapatid ko si -”
“Ma’am, wag pong makulit, sabi na nga pong -”
“Ikaw ang makulit dyan! Kapatid ko nga yung may-ari eh! Papalasukin mo ba ako o gusto mong masesante?!” I exclaimed. Darn! Why am I like this? The arguement with Richard earlier affected me so much that the adrenaline I felt is still in me.
The woman’s face shifted and I know that she was scared. “M-Ma’am s-sorry po. H-Hindi ko naman po -”
“Maya! Bakit ka ba nasigaw?” Kute’s voice caught my attention as she walked towards me, her brows furrowed deep. “Buti na lang at nasa likod kayo kung hindi, rinig kayo ng mga customers!” She continued.
“Sorry Kute.” I said.
“Sorry po Ma’am.” The woman I yelled at said.
“Sige na Chona, dun ka na ulit sa unahan. Pagpasensyahan mo na ‘tong kapatid ko at hindi ko malaman kung bakit mainit ang ulo.” She said and Chona excused herself. “Bunso, ano bang meron?”
“W-Wala, Kute. Nakulitan lang ako kay Chona.” I replied.
Kute narrowed her eyes at me. “Bunso, alam ko kung anong nangyari, tumawag si Richard at ang sabi nya -”
“Ayokong marinig, Kute.” I interrupted before she could add a word.
“Maya, makinig ka. Nagsasabi ng totoo si Richard -”
“Ano bang meaning ng totoo Kute? Paano ba nasusukat ‘yan? Kapag maraming witness, solve ka na?” I exclaimed. “Wag ngayon, Kute. Kung papanig ka lang din kay Richard, ayoko munang makinig. Sobra-sobra na yung umaga sa mga narinig ko. Kailangan ko ng break.” I siad, making her mum.
She nodded. “So, si Simon pala ang nag-alaga sa’yo.” She said. “Naniniwala ka ba, bunso?”
I went still, but then I shook my head. She’s my sister and the only one lerson left on my family. I can’t just lie to her. “Ewan ko.. Tama si Richard, sinaktan na nya ako noon pero hindi maalis sa isip ko na baka siya na nga ‘yung solusyon sa lahat ng ‘to -”
“Eh paano kung si Richard ‘yung totoo? At ginagamit lang ni Simon?” She asked.
“And what if its the other way around?” I asked back, making my point. “Hindi ako makapagdesisyon, Kute. Ang gusto ko, alisin muna lahat ng ‘to hanggang sa dumating na ‘yung araw na maaalala ko na lahat.” I added.
“What if you’re too late?” Kute asked again.
“Honestly? Hindi ko alam.” I said. “Pero please, Kute. Ayoko munang isipin ‘to. Kailangan kong maghintay kahit na sobrang tagal. Kapag mahal mo naman ang isang tao, maghihintay ka para sa kanya ‘di ba?”
Kute nodded and ran a hand through her hair. “Dahil kapatid mo ko, sige susuportahan kita. Basta bunso, ipapaalala ko lang ha, lahat ng bagay, may deadline. Katulad ni Richard. Pwede syang lumipad ng New York, ‘di ba?”
Oh, right. Richard might be leaving. But he made it clear to me that he will not go because of me and now that we fought, does this mean he’s going? “Tara na, Kute. Kukuhanan ko pa yung pagkain niyo.” I said, changing the topic.
Kute looked concernedly at me. Her eyes teeling me that she wants to say something but she wikl not because of me.
Maybe, time will come when I’ll have the courage to hear everything.
But not know.
I’ve decided to take a leave at my work and just stay inside the house where I can think. I’ve been thinking about what Simon and Richard said. If they’re really going to pull this whole man in my dreams thing, they should make extra effort.
Simon has been calling me over and over but since his number is blocked, I did not answer any of them while Richard send texts saying that he wants to talk. But the thing is I’m not ready to face either of them.
I grabbed my phone and decided to call Simon. On the fifth ring, he picked it up.
“Maya! Thank goodness you called! What happened to you?” He asked.
I don’t know why but his words felt so cold. “Simon, pwede ba tayong mag-usap?” I said.
“Sure, sure babe. Where do you want to meet?” He asked. And what’s with babe?
“Uhm, dun na lang sa starbucks sa lobby ng building niyo.” I suggested.
“Alright. Can we meet around 2? It’s still Thursday but I’m loaded with work. Maybe I can finally get the promotion I’ve always wanted!” He said happily on the other line.
“Well, sana.” I just said. “I’ll see you later.” I said.
“A’ight. Laters!” He said and disconnected the call. It’s time to finally know the truth.
I was sitting on the corner of the store, hiding me from Simon’s workmates. I bought a frappe that’s now half empty. It’s already 2:30PM yet Simon is still nowhere to be found.
I was about to leave when 2:45 came but then Simon entered the coffe shop. He smiled at me when he saw me and settled himself on the chair in front of me. “So sorry I’m late. May article pa kong ni-review.” He said. “Well, what is it that you want to talk about?”
I pursed my lips. He’s still the same old Simon, workaholic and insensitive. How could I have fallen for him? “Simon, you rescued me, right? And that is how we met?”
He nodded. “Uhuh. But we actually met when we were still kids ‘di ba?” He said with a smile.
I nodded. “Right. Uhm, how long did it take for me to recover my memory?” I asked.
“Well, it’s not precisely na naalala mo lahat. Little by little lang.” He answered.
“Saan tayo nag-celebrate ng birthday ko?” I asked.
“Sa .. amusement park. Sa …. Echanted Kingdom.” He said like he’s on a quiz bee. What the hell?
“How did we fell in love?” I continued to pry.
“Maya, ano ba ‘to slumbook? Bakit puro ganito ‘yung tanong mo?” Simon asked back.
“Simon, may amnesia ako. I need to know these things and I have the right to know the answer to my own questions.” I replied.
Simon sighed and rubbed his head. “We fell in love. Like magic. We clicked in an instant ‘di ba? That was it.” He answered.
My brows furrowed. Sure he was my crush when I was young, but there’s something off. “Isn’t it weird that I did not recognize that it was you, Simon? Nagsesend ka naman ng photos mo at alam ko kung anong itsura mo. Bakit hindi kita naalala nung niligtas mo ko?” I asked.
“Well, ” Simon started and swallowed the lump in his throat. “May amnesia ka eh. Isn’t that the best answer?” He said.
I narrowed my eyes at him. It’s time to throw my last pitch. “Simon, paano ako napahiwalay sa’yo two years ago? May nangyari ba sa’kin?” I asked. There are only a few things that I can remember and one is that I left someone that I think I’m supposed to marry. If Simon got this right, then he might really be telling the truth.
“Uhm, well, t-that is an excellent question.” He said. Then his phone rang. He quickly answered it and quickly put it down. “Maya, I have to go, my 3 o’clock meeting is here. I’ll call you okay?” He said and before I could utter a single word, he stood up and left me.
Something is really wrong. If he really wants me then he needs to sacrifice his time for me, right? Why does it feel like he’s glad to have escaped?
I stood up and entered theit building. I rode the lift and pressed the number of the floor where Simon’s room is. When I got there, I headed to his office and opened it without anybody seeing me.
The situation that I saw when I got in made me gasp. “Itigil mo ‘yan!” I shouted and both men turned to me. “Richard! Anong ginagawa mo dito?” I asked.
“M-Maya..” He uttered and trailed off. His hand is holding Simon’s neck while his other hand is curled into a fist, ready to punch. He immediately lets go of it and walked towards me. “I can explain, please.” He said.
“Don’t let him explain, Maya! Kitang-kita mo naman kung anong gagawin niya sa’kin ‘di ba?!” Simon exclaimed. “He’s just jealous because I have you! Nagagalit siya sa’kin kasi ako yung una mong minahal! Naiinggit siya kasi gusto niya sya ‘yon!”
“Shut up, Simon!” Richard yelled at him. “You and I both know the fucking truth! And you have no right to say those things!” He continued. I actually got scared. It’s the first time that I saw Richard angry. Gone was the joy and loneliness in his eyes and it was all replaced by pure anger. “In God’s eyes, He knew I’m the one whose right!”
“Too bad it’s not enough to save you in this situatuon, huh, Richard? You’re still back there while I’m here, so close in having the prize.” Simon said.
“Maya’s not a prize! She’s never a prize! She’s … she’s everything to me.” Richard said. Then he turned to me and suddenly, his eyes changed. The look of love returned and all his anger dissapeared. He walkes until he’s only a few inches before me. “I don’t care if you don’t believe in me, Maya, but I’ve always loved you. Your smile is already enough to start my day and our entwined hands can already make my heart beat fast.” He said, making me feel goosebumps. His words are so familiar. “And the feel of your lips against mine is already enough to take my breath away.” He said with a pained smile. “You’re always going to be my sunshine. Because when you left me two years ago, I felt like the sun has not risen and I’m in perpetual night. Now, can I ask for a favor?” He asked and I felt my nod. “Close your eyes.” He said and I obliged. “If you truly have feelings for another man, you’ll know it inside of your heart.” He said and I felt so familar with the whole scene. I’ve done this before, with the man in my dreams.
“The mind forgets, but the heart remembers.” I heard his voice said. I opened my eyes, not because I remembered something. But because Richard’s voice saying those words felt so right.
But when I opened my eyes, Richard is already gone.
A/N : Ako po’y lubos na natutuwa sa mga comments niyo. Naeenganyo po tuloy akong magtype. Nang dahil sa Clarity, nagkaroon ng Sako Gang! Hahaha. Malapit na po talaga siyang mag-end. Nadadama ko na po.
Kapit pa mga kapatid! Malapit nang fumating ang absolution. Hoho.